The Mellifluous & Mercurial Maiden From Maharashtra

Sai Ψ

and I have become quite close over the course of the last year. She recently, and officially, decided to end her pursuit of a chemical engineering degree in Salt Lake City—what had become an increasingly excruciating and endless endeavor—and is instead, to my chagrin and sorrow, returning to Pune indefinitely, though most likely not forever.

We decided to have a public conversation that serves as a form of processing-out-loud for both of us, exploring the motivations and implications—which have been brewing in the background for a while—of this big choice and all the changes it will bring.

My goal was to give her a space to frame all the factors that have led up to this circumstance, including the relief she feels at finally pulling the plug; and to give myself an appropriate venue to grieve the loss of her presence on this side of the world, at least for the foreseeable future.

City of Lights by Thomas Kinkade

She has a particularly perceptive perspective on how the scientific academy—and its industrial edifice—runs on the poisonous fumes of runaway zero-sum games, hyper-conscientious over-conformity, reliance on drug-fueled numbing for productivity, nihilistic spiritual disorientation, and a glaring absence of genuine inquiry.

(I have my own firsthand experience, too, with the problems of toxic fuel within elite institutions!)

And of course, we also discuss the ways she’s collaborating with others to architect more fundamental solutions to these co-occurring traps: particularly through her increasing focus on the “goddess problem” that haunts the West.

Come also enjoy how I make her laugh at various points with my exquisite Tamilian accent, particularly when talking about Katy Perry and “shopping mall music.”